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Dodo the Dog

700 days back, I decided how the human life has been degraded and there’s a massive need to bring about a change. 6 months and 5 days earlier, I stepped out to get an alter life for myself. To get the change I desired in the form of a living animal. Needless to say, it’s been the best decision of my life. Due to unfortunate reasons, my mother wasn’t very pleased with the idea of getting a dog home because of the mess they create. Assuring her, I went a step ahead to actually look for a dog. She strictly said no earlier but to get her to this level took a while (and of course, tears). She agreed for a small dog (in size) and I couldn’t ask for a lot back then.
I did find a suitable Lhasa Apso, named him Dodo. I know Dodo means a dumb dead bird. But it also means rare. Dodo for me symbolizes how rare things are. And how my mother went from point A to point B which was very rare for a stubborn person to do.
Anyway Dodo changed me. Dodo bought happiness to me. Dodo became my life. Dodo is everything my life needed. A paw for luck, they say. He was my lucky charm. My days went better. My nights were seamless.
Entertainer. A true form of entertainment, that. Whatever happened to getting bored at home?
Loyal. Follows my dad, my mom and myself wherever we go. Be it washroom or outside. I’ve never seen anyone be more ecstatic about seeing me walk through the door even when I leave him alone at home for almost the entire day.
Lazy. Oh yes, he’s the dog for me. Finding an opportunity to sleep every single time.

They all say, once you get a dog, there’s no going back. The amount of attachment with the dog is tremendous. (I just shed a teardrop while writing this)
Time for some black dark clouds.
Now’s the time when my mother has given up and wants him gone. She’s not ready to look at the other side. Doesn’t want to hire a helper. Doesn’t want to listen. I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know what’ll happen to Dodo.
He’s my first love. (It may sound absurd to those who don’t have pets but those who have pets can relate to it, I’m sure)
I wish there was a “cute cam” in my room capturing the adorable times between the two of us. He puts his front paw on my shoulder when he know I’m upset and oh dear, you should see how he pounces on my lap when he sees me cry (right about now).

Couldn’t have asked God for a better gift. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I won’t ever forget this.
Love. Always.



Chal Himachal

I recently made a trip to Himachal Pradesh along with 4 other friends. It was one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen in my life.
I’m not going to go on about the usual trip details but more about what the trip has taught me.
When 5 students go together to a far off place like that, you realize the importance of money. No, seriously. I had kept a count of small things like “20- Lays”, ” 30- ice cream”, etc. And then when you add up the numbers of the entire trip you get a mini heart ache. You tend to keep a track of the precious hard earned money.
Not just that, the feeling of being alone, the feeling of being responsible of not just you but the 4 other friends was also something to be taken into consideration for. You can’t let a friend go home with bruises or sick because parents have a mind of their own and they might just end up thinking of the worst possibilities.
Not only the experiences with the new place counts, but the experiences with friends count.
The good friend became the best friend, the friend of a friend became a good friend, the “I don’t talk to her much” became a close enough friend and a lot changed. The friendship grew deeper, tears were shed of happiness and of sadness and trust within the friends became deep by its roots.
“Sidd’s hungry”, ” Wait for Surel, guys”, “Pathetic”, ” Acha”, “This place gives such positive vibes dude” and a lot more will stay with us for a very long time now.
You know the trip was successful when you have major withdrawal syndrome. That way, this was the best trip ever. Don’t feel like going back to the daily life, don’t feel like doing anything. Just sitting back and having a nap forever would be perfect.
I couldn’t have possibly imagined this trip with other set of people. Finding comfort and trust in someone is what I mostly take back from this trip. And obviously the tan.


Trust and the combinations.

It’s not every time you get to trust somebody. It’s not every time you rely on a person completely. It’s not every time the person who you really respect backs out and leaves you sinking down there alone.
Standing up from a “miserable” time, I stood there, completely unaware of what was coming at me. Was it some trouble yet again? Or was it just a stroke of fresh air? What was I even expecting? Fresh air? Positive fresh air? Really?
There’s always a time when everything is just shattered and you’re so low that your heart starts to sink. Well you obviously do come out from that. And for ordinary people, you come out and there’s a new positive beginning. But for me, I would just say God has taken up a challenge to never let that happen to me.
It’s an entire cycle with no particular end. Starts with zero trust, builds up slowly slowly and reaches that extent when you can be free with him or her. And baam! It’s down again in a flash of a second. It’s done. Back to square one. Back to the feeling of “no trust acquired”.
You’re lost right now in an island far far away. No one to hear you. No one to see you. No one remembers you anymore. No one cares where you are. No one to bother you. You’re alone. Alone in your mind.
We all live in this fantasy bubble. Everything seems just alright until some truths are revealed. People turn into this selfish maniac not caring about the other people involved.
Truths, secrets, honesty, love, affection all combined together is the most deadly combination ever. It comes out together as an hazardous element which you are meant to stay away from at all times but you end up being attracted to it and hurting yourself, losing yourself and more than that, losing your friends.
Over 20 years of my life, I’ve understood that “trust” is one of the most over rated words.
Done and dusted.
Tried and tested.
Never trust. Just never.

That Rock Bottom Stage

Looking around, wandering, you tend to see your desires more than anything else. The only thing I really desire right now is that one person who’d make all of this suffering go away. Being much closed and having major trust issue because of the horrendous past experiences doesn’t really make it easy at all. I see many around me happy with the trust they receive from their friends, boyfriends, girlfriends or cousins for that matter. Well, am I jealous? Probably a little bit. But it just makes me happy knowing someone out there is happy in their tiny little World.

I’ve lived for 19 years now hoping, everyday, that the next day will be better. Hoping the next day would be meant for me. Hoping the next day will bring more joy than ever. Hoping I’d meet somebody with whom I’d survive. But what really happens is the pain increases hour by hour, day by day. Hope without love is hopeless. Hoping onto something impossible just means giving up. I have given up on finding that right person who’d sit by the lake alongside and just listen to the water hitting the rocks, the right person with whom I’d feel really safe in the most scary place possible, the right person who’ll stroke me off to sleep, the right person who could just sleep off with my shoulder as the pillow anytime, the right person with whom I’d have a chilled beer anytime of the day, the right person who I can trust deeply.

If you’re mistaken, I do not ask for a relationship. I ask for that one true friend who’d be there anytime. I’m just genuinely done not having anything real in life. I want the real deal.  Fake friends, fake smiles, fake behaviour, fake love, just want to get done with it already. I thought I’d never mention examples in my blog but this one is worth it. These 2 classmates started off as classmates, as friends and now what they have is truly magical. The selfless love that they share is just so beautiful on its own. (He even made a video for her).

Never have I got any chance to experience the actual feeling, friends would probably blame how my heart is forever shut and how I always miss the possibilities and chances of being close to the real person. Sometimes you want to fuck everything and be by yourself and not talk to anyone but sometimes you’d rather sit with someone else quietly and just think at the same frequency.

I’m slowly hitting rock bottom and all the confessions and the truths are going to come out one day and that day will be a wildfire and let’s just hope that never happens and till then I shall try to get back on my feet and look and open thy cold stone heart.


The Ad World

The Ad World, the World less known to me was under the blanket for me and I only knew one thing post that, no client servicing in the future. Let’s take it on a reverse mode, shall we? An Advertising Agency, creating a hotspot for all the ad campaigns seems very intriguing but trust me, the 7 weeks I have spent working in an ad agency have not been the typical or maybe not so typical, “work-fun”.
Client servicing, a supposedly very crucial part of any ad agency are treated as the “pigeons” who are making presentations, talking to the creative, talking to the client and various researches. Did I like what I worked for? A clear no. Would I consider it in the future? A clear no. Did I like interning in an advertising agency? Definitely yes.

First day out here, I felt like Nemo in the sea full of other big fishes, completely lost and ignored. And there, it started. Being introduced to the people I will work with and the other big fishes. Won’t deny, but I was super excited to meet people and interact with them and learn. From getting welcome gifts at my last internship to getting literally nothing broke me for a while but hey, no money in the ad agency right? (I will not talk about my bosses here, what if they are stalkers too like me and probably end up reading this)

“Who is he/she? Which college? Maybe I know him, maybe not? Should I go talk to him/her? Will they be too creeped out and call me that creepy intern? Will they never talk to me again? What should I do? Ok, I’ll just wait for them to come talk to me because hey, I’m  a senior intern and I have work to do rather than socialize with people I barely will talk to in future.”, I thought to myself whenever a new intern walked in. 5 minutes after the thinking process, I go talk to them because f*** being that egoistic intern that never talks to the new people and never welcomes them to the World they have never been exposed to.

I probably would have learned about the functioning of an ad agency is only because of the observations and talks to other employees. The employees here are the most chilled out people I have ever seen in an organization (well, most of them) and the best part out here is most of them, 90% to be exact love Game Of Thrones. How could you in a World ridden by popular culture not watch or read Game Of Thrones?
I have a weird fascination to go approach someone and ask them about their relation with the ad agency and how they grew in this World. So there it was, the Sr. Creative Director held a workshop for us interns which to be very honest, summed up everything I wanted to know.
I did the same with the Sr. Creative Supervisor and bombarded him with all the possible questions about advertising and a lot more.

The internship is coming to an end, and I am stuck here and figuring out my future decisions but one thing is for sure, never come back to an ad agency as an employee. The search for that-perfect-job goes on. 

I let the music take over

Not updating my blog is another thing but not writing takes it onto a whole new level. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I would pick ad over journalism in my TY. Since so many things have happened to me since that time, one of the major things that I would remember is Blitzkrieg’12: LET THE MUSIC TAKE OVER! Yes, might have spammed about this everywhere but it’s our fest-KCBMM’S fest.

This ride starts with the theme which came out just a month prior to the actual fest took away all the possible attention. I’m not going to explain what the fest was, how the fest went, etc. I’m simply going to share my personal experience throughout Blitzkrieg’12.

One month prior to the fest, our seniors would freak out as to nothing is happening but it turns out it was one of the biggest BMM fest ever. We had ample amount of time to come up with the décor ideas and the madness around college. And when we did come up with ideas, it went MAD!

Making a red shiny guitar with thermocol, making CD boxes, making the portraits, coloring the cassettes with blue and green was tiring but fun. Being in college till 8-8:30 pm and travelling back to Chembur alone was crazy and then the everyday lectures by dad regarding the time made me a little badass which made me sneak out of the house once on Sunday. But com’on who wouldn’t that for their fest? It’s one thing all the BMM people look out for.

Apart from that, finding contacts from each college was one hell of a task. We got more than 30 colleges for the launch at Hard Rock Café, Mumbai. It feels so good when so many colleges around Mumbai are actually interested in what’s happening for your fest. Then calling the CL (contingent leader) and the ACL (assistant contingent leader) before every CL meet gave me nothing but contacts.

My job as an FY doesn’t end there. Helping them put up banners and all the crazy décor stuff we prepared was one experience within itself. I think organizing a fest at such a great level takes a lot of talent. Respect to all those who have managed a fest. I could easily get up by 6 am for preparing stuff for blitzkrieg but I can’t wake up at 8 am for a lecture. Priorities matter!

One Blitzkrieg might be done but I have two more blitzkriegs to go and I can’t wait to organize it next year.


The equalizer! :')

The equalizer! :’)

sad week went by.

The world would be a better place for that week.” This is a quote by me. Yes, I said it just because of the mere fact that my parents planned to go out for a week. In my head, I can see myself partying and going out every night but that is NOT what happened.

A pretty lame week to start off with. I used to start my day by getting up, going to college, coming back half dead, watching all possible sitcoms till late night and sleep off. Of course, eating was there.

Since my parents have become tech-savvy, Whatsapp is something they love. So I used to get scarily cute messages which irritated me at times but it was so much fun to read about it.

Reasons why mom is required to stay with you-

  1. You get good food rather than going to subway.
  2. You wouln’t get creepy messages through whatsapp in the middle of a lecture.
  3. You won’t find colored post-its on the toilet seat later on.
  4. You don’t forget to take the bottle of water to college.
  5. You don’t have to listen to your elder sister brag about her day.
  6. You don’t have to pick up lame calls from your mom’s friends.
  7. You need to get used to your cell phone’s alarm clock.
  8. You don’t have anyone to get pissed off at.
  9. No one else can clean my room as the way she does.

They are returning tomorrow with a lot of stuff for me. (I am excited for the later). All in all, a week spent in front of my laptop with a blank face and a lot of food and a lot of usage up of the net. Pretty sad life, isn’t it?