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Monthly Archives: October 2015

A dream full of dreams

With books in a subliminal corner, admit cards rolling in, scoring low in the mock tests, moving on from Mumbai Mirror to Economic Times, ticking off the chapter done, putting a star across the chapters undone, waking up to a desk full of organized books, surviving on coffee and chewing gums (and maybe alcohol), life’s changed and how.

2 weeks for my exams to roll in. 2 months for my exams to get over. 2 years of MBA. Well, my professor says “2 is a beautiful number”. Oh, indeed it is. But let’s face the sound of the music now, shall we?

Getting pampered while sitting at home is probably the best kind of comfort you’ll ever get. I’ve becoming so accustomed to it now, I don’t know how I’m going to survive it outside there in the World where I have to earn my own coffee, my own desk space, everything on my own. I should be scared but more than that, I’m excited for what my future holds.
I’m excited to give my exams, to study for 2 years, to work for another 2 years and then go abroad for further education. I’m so excited that sometimes I stream away from this excitement and settle in a place far far away where I have the most perfect life I’ve always dreamt of. It’ll be a climb but I guess it won’t be that bad.
Everyone has something to look forward to. To dream about.
Do not lose your spirit wherever you are, wherever you go. Keep that spirit alive.
Well, I get excited about having a fancy breakfast. Find your excitement. Find your dream. It’ll be worth it.

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Putting together the puzzle

Have you ever been the party pooper? The one sitting in a corner in a decent enough party waiting to be out of the god damn heels and waiting to be in your comfortable pajamas? Probably not. As you guys know (or not), I have been sitting at home without a concrete job “trying to” study. The past one year has been exhaustive, been out of touch with the recent news (no WhatsApp and no internet on phone can do that to you) and most importantly, been more involved with my own family (the best perk).
So imagine this scenario for me all right? You’re sitting at home, no WhatsApp, no twitter, no internet. Only gmail and google hangout (let’s be honest, who really chats on google hangout anyway). The games on your phone are about “Vocab building” and “Pocket Logical Reasoning”, etc. You go out once a week for your weekend class from morning to evening or go for the NGO work you generally do once a week. You stay in touch with your close friends via phone calls (trust me on this, phone calls are way way better than the WhatsApp/Hike/Twitter/Facebook chats). A normal person would go insane in that environment. Look, I survived.
You will come out of that scenario but you would have changed by then.
I won’t say I changed a lot but when you have know you changed, you have. A year back, my “excited” meant going out, getting ready but now I wouldn’t be more happier than to just go down for a walk with my dog. Parties seem a pain in the ass to attend. Attending a party is not as easy as it seems for a person who’s been home for such a long time. Here’s a step by step list you NEED to follow, just in case you’re forced to go out:
First, check the people attending the function/ceremony/party.
Second, prepare your mind to be out of the comfort zone.
Third, reconsider your friendship with the person who invited a million other people as well. (million means 5 friends in my case)
Forth, get out of your pajamas and wear something decent. (That torture, if you’re a girl, you’d understand)
Fifth, just go. Do not think again. I repeat, do not think again.
Sixth, prepare a list of “small talk” conversations. It’ll be handy if you’re meeting people you don’t like.
Seventh, do not roll eyes/make faces at people. Prepare a survival kit for the party.
You’re good to go.

Anyway, the whole point being that one of my biggest fear is here. An extrovert turned introvert. A year back, I’d love to sit and talk to people aimlessly for hours (I mean gossip) but now, I’d rather just watch Modern Family or Friends and sleep that time.
I know being an introvert isn’t all that bad, but hey, let’s face it. A person who loved to meet people and interact now likes to sit at home and do absolutely nothing. It sounds like a good life actually. No fake formalities, no fake smiles, no mandatory pictures, no need to get ready, no heels, just a blanket and a good doze of sleep.

Everyone has their comfort zones, mine is with the 3-4 people I’m extremely close to. Everyone likes to be in that zone, I’m sure you do too. A circle of people where you can not have a bath for 2 days who will still be okay with it (or maybe not but who cares anyway).
Life, undoubtedly is like a puzzle. The sooner, you assemble the pieces, the better. Accepting the pieces and their area of belongingness is what makes the difference. After accepting, you have to arrange the pieces so they fit the puzzle accurately.
I have accepted the fact that I’m in my comfort zone, the fact that a few set of people meet me out there, the fact that anything out of that zone will slowly kill me. Literally.
It’s a part of me that comes undivided. Find your comfort zone and stay there, it’s the best level of excitement you get.